I forgot the word “reindeer” today so I described them as “Christmas llamas” why
*prosecuting lawyer voice* i have only one question for the defendant… ‘guiltypersonsayswhat?’
haha owned you’re going to jail
i dont understand girls who get creeped out if a lesbian thinks theyre hot because its like hell fuckin yea someone thinks im hot
one time I was really high and took a hot bath and I closed my eyes and imagined myself as a noodle floating in hot soup
The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.